Volume One, Chapter 8: Do Not Love If You Cannot Go Far

Su Li returned home, her cold still lingering, now grown worse. Her nose was blocked, her head ached, and her throat burned. After taking some cold medicine, she wrapped herself in her quilt and curled up in bed, hugging her knees to her chest. Alone in her bed, it seemed impossible to get warm. As dawn approached, Su Li could no longer endure it. She bundled herself in a down jacket and took a cab to the hospital.

Receiving an IV, she drifted in and out of consciousness, watching as everyone else had someone by their side. She couldn't help but feel a pang of envy. There was talk of levels of loneliness—she must have reached level ten or above by now. Time dragged on unbearably, and she didn't dare fall asleep. Forcing herself to stay awake, she glanced around from time to time.

Mo Xingyuan came for a follow-up appointment and happened to see Su Li sitting nearby. Her head hung low, her hair somewhat disheveled, a needle inserted in the back of her hand; among the crowd, she looked especially alone. Suddenly, Su Li lifted her gaze and met Mo Xingyuan’s eyes. Instinctively, she called out, “Mo Xingyuan…”

He ignored her and walked away as if he hadn’t seen her. Chi Mu followed behind Mo Xingyuan, saying nothing.

Su Li hadn’t expected to see him here. That brief glance felt like a hallucination. She pursed her lips—what was she hoping for, anyway? Surely she wasn’t expecting that man to care about her. The thought alone was laughable.

After leaving the director’s office, Chi Mu was inwardly elated. Trying to contain his excitement, his voice trembled slightly, “There’s still a chance. You should go prepare as soon as possible.”

Mo Xingyuan was calm. From the moment of diagnosis to hearing his death sentence, he had long since accepted it. All these so-called chances were nothing but futile struggles. As for this uncertain hope, he regarded it lightly. Without hope, there is no disappointment.

Passing by the infusion area again, Mo Xingyuan glanced inside. Su Li was still there, the IV nearly finished. She seemed to be asleep.

“You stay here,” Mo Xingyuan said, handing his coat to Chi Mu. “Take her home.”

Chi Mu took the coat, hesitated, then said, “Yes.”

Once Mo Xingyuan had left, Chi Mu stood beside Su Li. When her IV finished, he called for a nurse. Su Li woke with a start, surprised to see Chi Mu. Instinctively, she looked around for Mo Xingyuan, hoping he might still be there.

“Mr. Mo has gone,” Chi Mu told her.

Su Li wiped her forehead and slumped into the chair, feeling a little better, though still weak. After sitting for a while, she got up, collected her medication, and Chi Mu followed her out.

As soon as they left the hospital, a chill swept over her, and she hugged herself tightly. Chi Mu handed her Mo Xingyuan’s coat.

Su Li gazed at the coat, her voice hoarse and mocking, “What does he mean by this?”

Chi Mu wasn’t sure himself, so he replied, “He’s concerned about you.”

Whatever the reason, leaving his coat behind was, after all, an act to keep her from catching cold.

Su Li took the coat and draped it over her shoulders. She was cold. The coat carried a faint scent, reminiscent of him—a trace of cool aloofness.

Once in the car, the warmth and coziness made her drowsy, and she drifted off. Who knew how much time had passed when Su Li finally woke up. The car had stopped, and Chi Mu was not inside. Looking out the window, she saw him making a phone call. Judging by his posture, he was probably speaking with Mo Xingyuan. She waited until he hung up before getting out of the car.

Chi Mu turned back.

Su Li held out the coat to him. “Thank him for me.”

“There’s still a way to go,” Chi Mu replied, not taking the coat. “If you need anything, you can call me.”

Su Li bit her lip and wrapped the coat around her again. “And I can’t call him?”

Chi Mu was taken aback. “You can.”

After all, Mr. Mo hadn’t said she couldn’t call.

“Thank you. I’m going in.” Su Li smiled faintly and turned to walk into the residential compound.

Back home, Lu Jing called her. Upon learning Su Li had gone to the hospital alone, she couldn’t help but scold her. Listening to her friend’s nagging and admonishments, Su Li felt a warmth in her heart.

After the scolding, Su Li mentioned that Mo Xingyuan had asked Chi Mu to take her home and had left his coat for her.

“I thought he wanted to keep his distance? What’s with this secret concern? What does he mean?” Lu Jing asked.

Lying on the sofa, gazing at the ceiling, Su Li glanced at the man’s coat beside her.

She replied, “Maybe he thinks my cold has something to do with him.”

“So he’s not as cold as you imagined,” Lu Jing said, then added anxiously, “But don’t let a little bit of warmth make you fall for him. I’m not being cold-hearted—it’s just that he doesn’t have much time left.”

Lu Jing worried that Su Li might fall for Mo Xingyuan only to be devastated when he died.

“You’re overthinking it,” Su Li sniffed. “I won’t.”

She wouldn’t, and neither would Mo Xingyuan.

Su Li stayed home for three days. Lu Jing, who was away on business, cooked for her for a day before leaving.

On the fourth afternoon, with the sun shining warmly, Su Li ventured out. She took Mo Xingyuan’s coat to the dry cleaners. When she came out with the freshly cleaned coat, she was suddenly blocked by someone approaching with aggression.

Su Li frowned at He Shuming. She hadn’t seen him in a while and thought she never would again.

He Shuming glanced at the bag in her hand, having seen earlier that it contained a man’s coat. “Su Li, don’t you think you owe me an explanation?”

She narrowed her eyes. “If you’re sick, go to a hospital.”

He Shuming pressed on, “I heard you’re married. You broke up with me and then got married right after. Tell me, who’s the other man?”

Su Li had never realized how volatile and unreasonable He Shuming could be. Clearly, love could not be judged by imagination alone—it took real situations to reveal a person’s true nature.

“Is this amusing to you?” She had no desire to see him.

He Shuming wouldn’t let her go. “When did you start hooking up with him? Bring him out! If he dares to steal my woman, I’ll make him pay!”

Su Li was thoroughly exasperated by his idiotic bluster. She glared fiercely at the enraged man. “Don’t play the victim. You were the one who cheated first.”

“If you’d come back sooner, I wouldn’t have done it. I even booked a hotel, but you wouldn’t stay with me… Is that how you have a relationship? I’m a man—if you won’t give it to me, can’t I go find someone else? You drove me to it!”

He Shuming accused her as if he were the one terribly wronged.

“I don’t want to argue with you. There’s no point. We should part ways peacefully.” Su Li tried to leave.

But He Shuming wouldn’t let her. “You sent out the video, so you never wanted a peaceful end!”

“What do you want, then?”

“Get back together with me and I’ll pretend nothing ever happened.”

There are times when a person is so dumbfounded they can only laugh.

Su Li looked at him as if he were an idiot and sidestepped him.

“Su Li!” He Shuming grabbed her hand tightly. “I’m giving you a chance—don’t be ungrateful.”

Su Li stared at his hand. “Let go.”

“Come with me!” He Shuming forcibly dragged Su Li toward his car, using his other hand to open the door.

The more Su Li struggled, the tighter his grip became. He yanked her toward the car and shoved her inside.

Su Li swung the coat she was holding and hit He Shuming on the head. The weight of the coat did nothing to hurt him, only making him angrier. He pushed Su Li hard, and she fell onto the seat.

She kicked at him, and he leaned into the car after her.

“He Shuming, are you trying to die?” Su Li was both furious and desperate. She punched and kicked, then grabbed her phone and keychain, smashing them hard against his head and face.

She didn’t hold back, striking wildly as if possessed.

He Shuming hadn’t expected Su Li to be so fierce. If she’d had a knife, she probably would have stabbed him.

A passerby must have called the police. When the officers arrived, He Shuming stumbled out of the car, clutching his face and wailing.

Su Li took the chance to get out as well, her hair disheveled, face flushed, and breath coming in gasps. She saw blood on He Shuming’s forehead and bruises blooming on his face—he looked utterly pathetic.

Both of them were taken to the police station.