Volume One, Chapter 18: Unable to Enter His World
As Su Li stepped out of the company building, Mo Xingyuan called her.
Seeing his name on the screen, she answered with a smile.
“Did you miss me?”
“...”
On the other end, he seemed ready to hang up at her words.
“I won’t be coming home tonight.”
Su Li paused in surprise, “Are you reporting to me?”
“...”
Her mood was good, her smile bright, “Well, I won’t be coming home either.”
“...”
She could sense Mo Xingyuan’s urge to end the call at any moment, so she explained, “Lu Jing is going back to her hometown tomorrow, I’ll keep her company tonight, have dinner, and stay over.”
When Mo Xingyuan didn’t respond, she asked, “What about you? Where are you going? Who are you seeing?”
“You’re asking too much.”
“As your wife, it’s only fitting I ask at times like this.” Su Li’s ride arrived; she got in and gave the driver her destination.
“I’ve got things to do.” Mo Xingyuan would never tell her more than that.
Su Li was only asking out of habit, never expecting him to report every detail.
“All right then.”
“Hanging up.”
He really did hang up, giving Su Li no chance for further conversation.
She was used to it.
The fact that he called her at all was already rare.
—
Lu Jing’s flight was early the next morning. As she cooked at home, she packed her things as well.
“I was expecting a feast, but it’s just a bowl of noodles,” Su Li grumbled, adding vinegar to her noodles.
“I’m not in the mood for a feast, just make do,” Lu Jing said, sprinkling a generous amount of chili on her own.
Su Li ate her noodles, “There are still days before New Year. You’re leaving so early?”
“My mom wants me to go on a blind date.”
“Huh?” Su Li stared in disbelief, noodles still in her mouth.
Lu Jing scoffed at her expression, “She’s afraid I’ll never get married.”
“How could that be?” Su Li couldn’t comprehend, “You’re such a catch, why settle for a blind date? What kind of person could you possibly meet?”
“If I don’t give in, she’ll never let up. Every holiday, she urges me to go back. I’ve done plenty of blind dates, each worse than the last…” Lu Jing shook her head, unwilling to elaborate.
“Find someone yourself,” Su Li suggested. “If you date someone, she’ll relax.”
Lu Jing shook her head, “She won’t accept anyone I meet outside. She says only blind dates are reliable.”
Su Li felt agitated just hearing that.
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll go and meet them, but I won’t date anyone. If she won’t accept someone from outside, so be it. I’ll just stay single,” Lu Jing said, not opposed to blind dates, but unwilling to accept any of them.
Su Li sighed.
The next morning, she drove Lu Jing to the airport.
They hugged, “Come back soon.”
“I’ll be back as soon as the blind date’s over.”
—
“That’s good,” Su Li said with a smile. “Just don’t go and get married straight away, anything else is fine.”
Lu Jing scoffed, “Never.”
After Lu Jing cleared security, Su Li waited until she was out of sight before turning away.
She glanced up and caught an unexpectedly familiar figure heading toward the VIP channel.
Quickly, she dialed his number. It rang for a while before he picked up.
“Hello.”
“Where are you?” Su Li felt certain she hadn’t mistaken him.
“At the airport.”
As expected.
“On a business trip?”
“Something’s come up. I’m going abroad.”
Su Li was surprised.
His health was so poor—how could he travel abroad?
“Can I ask what for?”
“No.”
“...”
She exhaled. “When will you be back?”
“Not sure.”
“Oh.”
“Anything else?”
“No.”
“Hanging up.”
Again, he ended the call abruptly.
It wasn’t that she wasn’t curious; her main concern was his health. Traveling abroad meant hours on a plane—could he handle it?
He wouldn’t say, and she couldn’t know.
Su Li sent him a message.
[If you need a ride from the airport when you return, let me know in advance.]
She received no reply.
—
Two days passed, and Mo Xingyuan didn’t call or text Su Li.
Telling herself not to worry didn’t make it so.
Unable to resist, Su Li called him.
She was nervous.
Considering his health, she feared he might suddenly disappear.
They’d said three months, but illness doesn’t follow any schedule.
The phone rang once, no answer.
She called again, and on the third attempt, he picked up.
“Hello?”
Just his voice sounded exhausted.
Su Li breathed a sigh of relief. “Are you all right?”
—
“When are you coming back?”
“I’m already back.”
Su Li froze, phone in hand.
She knew he had no feelings for her, but the fact that he left and returned without telling her left her feeling lost.
“All right.” She no longer felt like joking; this time she was the one to say, “Hanging up.”
She bought herself a coffee and sat down.
A melancholy that shouldn’t have belonged to her settled over her.
Taking a sip, she received a message from Lu Jing.
These days, Lu Jing had been on one blind date after another.
She sent Su Li pictures of each man she met, none of them appealing.
But this time, the man looked decent—not especially handsome, but gentle, cultured, and refined.
Lu Jing wrote, “I don’t mind him. I plan to get to know him. I’ll see if it works before I come back.”
Su Li thought, since Lu Jing herself approved and her parents picked him, it might be a good thing if it worked out.
“All right.”
“What’s wrong?” Lu Jing sensed the heaviness in her tone. “Mo Xingyuan still hasn’t contacted you?”
“He’s already back.”
“So what’s the matter?”
Su Li forced a bitter smile. “He came back without telling me. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but it still hurts.”
“You’ve really fallen for him.” Lu Jing sounded anxious. “It’s not that I don’t wish you well, but with his condition, you mustn’t fall in love.”
“If he were healthy and you had feelings for each other, I’d say go for it—there’d be hope. But he won’t live long. You’re so invested, feeling things you shouldn’t. What will you do afterward?”
Su Li looked at her coffee, gently swirling it. “No. I just think—even as roommates, when someone leaves or comes back, they should say something.”
“He doesn’t even see you as a roommate,” Lu Jing said bluntly. “You’re not the one he wants, you can’t enter his world.”
Su Li understood.
She sighed deeply, finished her coffee, crushed the cup, and tossed it in the trash.
—
Su Li entered her password and walked into the living room, where she found Mo Xingyuan lying on the sofa, apparently asleep.
She approached. In just two days, he seemed to have grown thinner.
She fetched a blanket from the bedroom and gently covered him. The moment it touched him, he suddenly opened his eyes.
His sclera was laced with bloodshot veins.
Clearly, he hadn’t rested well.
“I was afraid you’d be cold,” Su Li said, pointing to the blanket. “Why aren’t you sleeping in your room?”
He didn’t respond, only stared at her.
Su Li thought she’d disturbed him and that he was angry.
“I’m sorry, I—”
Before she could finish, her waist was suddenly gripped, and she was pulled off balance, tumbling onto the sofa. The world spun around her as his cold breath enveloped her lips.