Volume One, Chapter Twelve: Mo Xingyuan, I Don't Want You to Die

He finally understood why this woman had been so bold the first time they met. If he hadn’t pushed her away back then, things would have gone exactly as she wanted.

“No,” Su Li finally snapped out of it. “What are you talking about? I’m not pregnant.”

Mo Xingyuan leaned against the wall. “Then why do you want to have my child?”

“I said I wanted to,” Su Li hastened to explain. “It was just a thought, not something I have to do. If you don’t agree, then I won’t.”

“I don’t agree.”

She wasn’t surprised, but she still felt the need to clarify. “I’m not pregnant. Nothing like that happened between He Shuming and me.”

“That’s none of my business.” Mo Xingyuan had no intention of arguing further. “If you want to have a child, that’s your business. I won’t stop you from having one with someone else. But if you have a child with another man while we’re still married, I’ll kill you.”

His tone was light, almost casual, but it sent Su Li back to the day when he called her and told her to “handle it.” She couldn’t help but shudder.

“How could I?” Su Li took a deep breath. “I wouldn’t.”

Mo Xingyuan straightened, his eyes deep and dangerous, like a bottomless abyss. The way he looked at her felt like invisible tendrils reaching out from the darkness, ready to drag her under at any moment.

“This was your choice to marry, and your refusal to divorce. Unless I die, you’ll just go on like this.”

Su Li had never liked drinking—alcohol was bad for the body.

But sometimes, a drink could give you a little peace.

“Do you really like him, or are you just saying it?” Lu Jing, just back from a business trip, hadn’t even changed her clothes before coming to find her in the bar. Unlike the state Su Li had been in after discovering He Shuming’s betrayal, there was a strange sadness about her now.

Su Li brushed the hair from her chest and looked at Lu Jing. “Actually, I’ve known Mo Xingyuan for a long time.”

Lu Jing was surprised. “Since when?”

“A long time ago.” Su Li stared into her glass. “The year my mother found out my father was cheating on her, she was so devastated that she drove to the bridge to kill herself. I couldn’t hold her back, but Mo Xingyuan happened to pass by, and he helped me pull her away.”

“Unfortunately, my mother didn’t cherish that chance.”

Su Li’s lips curved in a smile, but her eyes shone with unshed tears.

Lu Jing moved closer and gently put her arm around her.

“I’m fine.” Su Li smiled, took a sip of her drink, and pressed her lips together. “Mo Xingyuan once saved my mother. He probably doesn’t remember, but when you mentioned his name the other day, it all came back to me.”

“I only found out his name because I heard a woman call out to him before he left.”

Lu Jing hadn’t known any of this.

“So that’s why you married him.”

Su Li nodded, gripping her glass. “I really hope it’s a misdiagnosis. If he weren’t sick, the person he loved wouldn’t have left him.”

At this point, there was nothing Lu Jing could say about Mo Xingyuan.

They sat in silence, drinking, the noisy bar unable to dispel the deathly stillness between them.

“So you really want to have his child?” Lu Jing asked.

Su Li smiled faintly. “He doesn’t need one.”

“What if he does?”

“Then I’ll have one,” Su Li replied without hesitation.

Lu Jing frowned at her.

Su Li poured herself another drink. “Jingjing, every time he mentions death, I feel awful. I don’t want him to die.”

Lu Jing understood. No matter what, Mo Xingyuan had once done Su Li a great kindness.

“Everyone has their fate,” Lu Jing sighed. “There are some things we simply can’t change.”

Of course Su Li knew that. She slumped over the table, her mood sinking. “That’s why I want to do something for him. But there’s nothing I can do.”

Marrying him was just her way of convincing herself that he’d have someone by his side in his final days.

In truth, Mo Xingyuan didn’t need her at all.

Lu Jing understood, but there was no solution.

She poured Su Li another drink and patted her back. “Just be yourself.”

“Mm.”

Su Li was simply sad.

Mo Xingyuan was so young, but his days were numbered.

She drank too much; her head was spinning.

Lu Jing could handle her liquor and helped Su Li out of the bar.

She brought her to Mo Xingyuan’s home and rang the doorbell.

It took two tries before the door opened.

Lu Jing paused when she saw him. He really was as good-looking as Su Li had said—no wonder women fell for him.

“I’m leaving your wife with you,” Lu Jing said, pushing Su Li toward Mo Xingyuan.

He caught her instinctively, faster than his words.

He had a keen sense of smell and had caught the scent of alcohol as soon as he opened the door. Now it was even stronger.

The woman leaned against him, oblivious to everything.

“I’m going,” Lu Jing repeated, “Don’t take anything she says or does to heart. She’s just drunk.”

A frown flickered across Mo Xingyuan’s brow.

Lu Jing gave a wave and left.

He looked down at the fragile woman in his arms, her faint scent mingling with the smell of alcohol, filtering into him with every breath.

He slipped an arm around her waist, closed the door, and helped her inside.

She slept fitfully, lashes trembling, a trace of moisture at the corner of her eye—she’d been crying.

Women only cried for men or for the disappointments of life.

Her life was fine, so it must have been for a man.

After two years with her boyfriend, only to have him cheat in front of her—how could her heart not ache?

“Mo Xingyuan…” she murmured.

He thought she’d woken, but her eyes remained closed.

Pretending, he thought.

Trying to take advantage of her drunken state.

“I don’t want you to die.”

His hand froze.

A single tear slipped from the corner of her eye, tracing down her cheek and soaking into his shirt.

Su Li’s head ached.

She struggled on the bed for a while before finally opening her eyes.

It took her several minutes to remember.

She lifted the covers and checked her pajamas, then quickly called Lu Jing.

“Did you change my clothes?”

“How could I? I handed you over to Mo Xingyuan and left.”

“…”

“He changed your clothes?” Lu Jing’s voice brightened with curiosity. “Did you sleep together?”

Su Li ran a hand through her hair in exasperation. “Of course not.”

“You didn’t use your drunken state to take advantage?”

Listening to her friend’s teasing, Su Li was speechless.

Mo Xingyuan probably thought the same thing when she arrived last night.

She didn’t think she’d done anything out of line—otherwise, she wouldn’t have woken up in bed.

She got up and left the bedroom. The day was beautiful, sunshine flooding the room.

Golden light poured through the windows, bathing Mo Xingyuan in a soft, elusive glow, as if he might vanish in the blink of an eye.

She stood there watching him, barely daring to breathe, afraid to disturb the scene.

He looked up from his computer, his gaze locking onto her.

Their eyes met. Su Li licked her lips and smiled. “Thank you for last night.”

“I hope there won’t be a next time,” Mo Xingyuan replied, turning his attention back to the screen.

Su Li was at a loss for words.

He really wasn’t much fun.

“Last night, you didn’t… do anything to me, did you?” She poured a glass of water and walked over, admiring his elegant fingers moving across the keyboard, tapping out a steady rhythm—those hands were truly beautiful.

Mo Xingyuan paused, his fingers curling for a moment before he resumed typing, not even glancing her way. “I’m not interested in you.”