Chapter 86: Eavesdropping by the Corner

Baili Yue already knew I was a woman and made no effort to hide it. Though it was said I would take her out to console her, in the end, it was she who led me to her boudoir, dismissing all the servants. There was nothing I could do; it was my first visit, and I knew neither the layout of her house nor the location of her chamber.

I took the handkerchief from my waist and handed it to her. Baili Yue, strong as she was, closed the door behind us and only then let her tears fall.

“Crying won’t solve anything. That day, Jin Yu was equally desolate, standing atop the mountain. If she had truly jumped, dying with the child in her womb, your brother Baili Changfeng would never forgive you.”

“I hadn’t thought that far,” she replied.

“Baili Yue, are you…”

“You’ve guessed, haven’t you? I’ve fallen in love with my own brother.”

I was silent.

Love is not wrong, nor is their status, but they are siblings by blood.

“This cannot be. It defies common sense—you know that, don’t you?”

“But I can’t restrain myself. I go to him whenever I can. When Jin Yu came into his life, jealousy drove me mad.”

“The child Jin Yu carries is your brother’s. You can try to love her for his sake, learn to see her in a kinder light—you must broaden your heart.”

I did not tell Baili Yue that she and Baili Changfeng were impossible. She understood well enough herself. There was no need to wound her already shattered heart further. The city lord’s daughter—the princess of Maple Leaf City—must possess excellent upbringing, yet her conduct today was truly unexpected.

“Yes, I love my brother so much. How could I not love what belongs to him? You know, mother passed away too early, so early that I remember nothing of her. I’ve never felt what people call motherly love. Father is always busy, never around. It’s my brother who has always been by my side—from playing kites when we were little to watching me do needlework as I grew. He accompanied me through childhood and gave me his love.”

“Baili Yue, there’s something I’m not sure if I should say.”

“Though we’ve only met twice, I feel you understand me. Speak freely.”

“In truth, you do love Baili Changfeng, but have you considered that it’s not romantic love, but sibling affection? That love is for parents, brothers, sisters—it’s family, not romance. Familial love is blood in water; no matter what happens, with family, forgiveness is always possible. The same blood flows through your veins, and this is a fact that will never change.”

“And what about romantic love? Tell me what it is.”

“Romantic love is between two people, husband and wife. There are things you desire in the other, and in seeking them, you must also give. True love is the promise of life and death together, though some love falters when disaster strikes. That doesn’t mean it isn’t love. Between man and woman, love is the most elusive thing; only through genuine experience can you truly understand, and it can’t be explained in a few words.”

Baili Yue’s gaze became dazed.

“No one has ever told me these things.”

“Then you should think about them carefully. Don’t confuse family love with romance. You know, if the city lord discovered your feelings, how much pain would it cause him?”

“Doesn’t Father see it?”

“At most, he suspects. Such a bold matter—he’d only dare to suspect, unless you confessed yourself.”

“And my brother? Does he feel family love or romantic love toward me?”

“I don’t know Baili Changfeng well enough to say. Aside from the fact you’re siblings, too many devoted girls have heard the words, ‘I only see you as a sister, nothing more.’ Since you are truly his sister, it’s even harder to say.”

“I need to think.”

“You should. Decide whether these feelings are romance or not—follow your heart, and don’t do anything you’ll regret for a lifetime.”

“Alright.”

Baili Yue smiled gently.

“There’s no need to thank me. Didn’t you also help me keep my secret that I’m a woman? Since I’m dressed as a man now, I won’t linger in your chamber. If you need anything, have your servants find me. Rest well tonight, clear your mind, and think things through.”

I stopped Baili Yue from seeing me out and left on my own, closing the door behind me.

Through the door, I heard her sobbing.

The sky was gloomy; it seemed rain was coming.

In such weather, was it time to test whether these two were lovers or not?

I couldn’t say whether Baili Yue’s affair with Baili Changfeng was right or wrong. Love is never simply right or wrong. But was theirs truly love? I didn’t know. Romantic feelings between siblings defy reason and cannot be accepted. If word got out, I couldn’t imagine the scorn they would endure, nor how they would live afterward.

Yet pursuing true love also depends on who you are. Status is not the issue—rich or poor, if you have the heart, you can overcome anything. Except for blood ties, which cannot be changed. Even if blood were replaced, you remain who you are.

The gloomy sky mirrored my mood, pressing heavily on my chest.

“The weather’s turning. The city lord asked us to stay, and hopes you’ll comfort Baili Yue,” Li Yexuan came toward me—as it turned out, I was still standing not far from Baili Yue’s chamber. No servant had come to guide me, and my sense of direction was poor; I truly didn’t know where to go. Fortunately, he arrived.

“Then let’s stay,” I said, approaching Li Yexuan to walk with him. This way I wouldn’t get lost.

“What’s wrong? You don’t look well.”

“You noticed, didn’t you?”

Li Yexuan nodded; I knew I couldn’t hide from him.

“At least Baili Yue is in love with Baili Changfeng. I spoke with her; if her feelings are only familial, then it’s just a young girl taking a wrong turn—she’ll be fine once she understands. If it’s the other kind of ending, things will be difficult. The city lord alone would be hard to face.”

“It’s a forbidden love in the eyes of the world.”

“What about you, Li Yexuan? What do you think?”

I looked at Li Yexuan, awaiting his answer.

“If it were me, such a thing would never happen,” he replied confidently.

“How can you be so sure?”

No matter how capable he was, he couldn’t control everything.

“Because I have no sister.”

“…You win.”

“Li Yexuan, what kind of person do you think is impossible to accept, impossible to love?”

I went straight for the hardest question.

“If you have the heart, the person doesn’t matter.”

“What if it’s an enemy? The child of a sworn enemy?” I grabbed Li Yexuan, persistent in my questioning. I thought I was asking for myself and Yun Heng, but on reflection, it seemed more for myself and Li Yexuan. Since when did I have such thoughts, without even realizing it?

“An enemy?”

“Yes, an enemy. If it were you, would you still love?”

“There wouldn’t even be the chance.”

“I mean, what if you happened to meet by accident?”

“If she’s truly the one I love, what does it matter if the world is emptied? What hatred can’t be overcome?”

I let go of Li Yexuan’s hand.

He asked, “So, Mufan has someone in her heart?”

“You’re thinking too much. Mufan isn’t interested.” I couldn’t respond to his teasing.

Indeed, being brought to Maple Leaf City by Li Yexuan felt like an unexpected journey. I no longer thought about Yun Heng as before.

That was a good thing.

Unexpectedly, the next day Baili Yue sought me out, saying she wanted to ask Baili Changfeng for a clear answer. She hinted that I should listen in on their conversation. She said she would meet him in a corner of the garden in the evening for a thorough talk.

How could I eavesdrop? Such inelegant behavior is utterly beneath me. But faced with Baili Yue’s earnest gaze and the tears at her eyes, I agreed.

Immediately, I regretted it deeply.

But even if my regret consumed me, I had to fulfill what I promised.

With a quick thought, I headed somewhere.

I knocked and entered.

Li Yexuan was inside.

“Your Highness, is there anything you’d like to eat or drink? Mufan can fetch it for you,” I said, eagerly drawing near. Being Li Yexuan’s maid had more advantages than Yun Heng’s.

I didn’t have to call myself a servant and could address Li Yexuan directly now and then.

I always felt I wore a mask in front of Yun Heng, feigning gentleness. With Li Yexuan, I was much more at ease—a real fangirl.

Indeed, Li Yexuan’s expression said clearly, “Strangers keep away.”

Was I really that frightening?

“Go on, what scheme are you plotting now?”

“No, no, I wouldn’t dare.”

“Sigh, I wonder what wine tastes like.”

“I’ll tell, I’ll tell.”

Damn Li Yexuan, always using wine to threaten me. Why did I ever hand it over to him? It was digging my own grave.

But since I’d already dug the pit, I could either fill it myself or cover it up.

I confessed everything to Li Yexuan without leaving out a single detail.

“Li Yexuan, come with me tonight. I don’t dare go alone, but I can’t ignore Baili Yue.”

Li Yexuan nodded, and I leapt with joy.

Night soon fell.

I changed into black clothes. To my surprise, Li Yexuan was dressed in black as well.

Darkness made black less noticeable.

I meant to sneak along, but Li Yexuan tapped me.

“What do you look like?”

“Brother, we’re here to eavesdrop—we need to be discreet.”

“If they want you to overhear, they’ve surely cleared everyone out.”

“…That’s true.”

“Why would Baili Yue ask you? That’s a mistake.”

“…She has her strengths, just ones you haven’t noticed!!”