Three Feet of White Silk

Sure enough, when Late Spring and I returned to Yun Heng’s quarters, the battleground had shifted to the main house. The old lady sat in the seat of honor, her expression dark and stormy. Yun Heng stood to the side, silent, his face reflecting the same gloomy weather. Yet, when he saw Late Spring and me enter, his eyes flickered ever so slightly.

Qiao Ruoqing knelt on the floor, sobbing with tears streaming down her face like rain. Late Spring clenched her fists in barely contained anger. I gently patted her hand, signaling her to stay calm, though I too felt the urge to slap Qiao Ruoqing for her melodramatic display. After all, what was there to cry about after climbing into someone's bed? She ought to laugh, having ruined her own virtue with such a public display.

It takes two to tango; Yun Heng certainly felt something, otherwise how could he have ended up with Qiao Ruoqing so muddled? But Qiao Ruoqing was up to something, or else Yun Heng wouldn’t have rejected her advances before.

“Enough, I’m not dead yet—what are you crying for?” The old lady’s patience was wearing thin.

“Aunt…” As expected, Qiao Ruoqing’s cries diminished; she feared the old lady, always calling her “aunt” so affectionately.

“Unmarried, yet you’ve done such a thing.” Fury overcame the old lady, and she threw a cup to the floor with a crash.

Qiao Ruoqing trembled. Late Spring pulled me down to kneel beside her.

I protested inwardly. When the master is involved in a scandal, it’s always said the servants led them astray, or the servants must bear the blame. In truth, it’s the master who drags the servants into trouble. It wasn’t Late Spring or me who slept with Qiao Ruoqing, yet we had to kneel, while the real culprit stood there, almost ready to sit back and relax.

“Mother, it is my fault,” Yun Heng lowered his head. I wasn’t sure if I imagined it, but he glanced at me, and I lowered my head even more.

“No, Aunt, it is Ruoqing’s fault. It has nothing to do with Cousin.” Qiao Ruoqing crawled to the old lady’s side, clutching at her skirt.

“Cousin…”

To me, the whole scene was unbearably melodramatic; to Late Spring, it was infuriating and repulsive. But in Yun Heng’s eyes, there was a trace of tenderness—damn that tenderness.

“Bring it here.”

Wang Mama, who attended the old lady, brought three lengths of white silk, each three feet long. She tossed one before me and Late Spring, and another before Qiao Ruoqing.

For a moment, all three of us were stunned. Late Spring and I exchanged glances—what was happening now? Were we expected to die as well?

“My poor sister left too early, failing to teach you properly. Since you’ve done such a thing, it’s best to leave cleanly, so I can answer to your mother. Don’t worry, Aunt will join you before long,” the old lady stroked Qiao Ruoqing’s face as she spoke. Then she pointed at me and Late Spring, “These two maids saw what they shouldn’t have. Let them accompany you in death, so you’ll have someone to serve you below.”

Damn it, I cursed inwardly. What kind of nonsense was this? Now our lives were to be sacrificed as well, doomed to serve even in death. If I really died here, do you think my father and mother wouldn’t come looking for you?

But this time Late Spring was calm. She gently held my hand, signaling me not to move.

I waited eagerly for Qiao Ruoqing to refuse, but to my shock she nodded, her trembling hands reaching for the white silk. Its snowy whiteness was blinding, a stark reminder that life would soon be ended by its embrace.

I was certain I hadn’t misread it this time—Yun Heng looked my way again, then, helplessly, turned his head aside.

“Mother, let me take Cousin as a concubine,” he said.

The old lady immediately agreed, and Qiao Ruoqing wept tears of joy.

“But only as a concubine. Cousin, don’t take offense.”

“As long as Cousin accepts me, Ruoqing is content.”

“I have matters to attend to, so I’ll take my leave. Mother, these two maids have always served me; please spare them. Without them, I wouldn’t be comfortable.”

“That’s only right. Go on, then.”

“Your son withdraws.”

And just like that, Yun Heng walked out, and my heart sank to the lowest depths.

The old lady instructed Qiao Ruoqing—now to be called Concubine Qiao—to prepare herself, then left. Late Spring and I withdrew as well.

Alone, I returned to the fish pond. The moment Yun Heng pledged to make Qiao Ruoqing his concubine, I understood: everything from the start had been a performance, a show for Yun Heng, meant to force him into taking responsibility for Qiao Ruoqing, even threatening Late Spring and me as leverage.

The power of a maid is so pitifully small. I clutched my chest, feeling as though something sharp had stabbed deep within.

The fish frolicked in the pond, but to my eyes, they were harsh and glaring.

Yun Heng, Yun Heng, why must you be so reckless, why must you become entangled with Qiao Ruoqing?

The entire General’s Mansion pressed down on me, suffocating. I was desperate to escape.

I turned and fled toward the gate, stepped out the back door, but did not know where I wanted to go.

Wandering the streets, aimless, unaware of when or if I’d return.

Suddenly, a familiar figure appeared ahead—it was Li Yexuan!

I reacted instantly, hiding behind a stall selling umbrellas, the colorful canopies shielding me from his view.

Whatever Li Yexuan was doing here, I had no desire to see him now. Yun Heng’s private matters could not be easily divulged.

At moments of deepest sorrow, when one is most bedraggled, it is least desirable to be seen. I was used to hiding away and grieving alone.

I told myself, never again. From now on, Yun Heng is only my master, nothing more. Yet, once some feelings are lost to the depths, how can they ever be easily forgotten?

“Mufan.”

I turned and saw Li Yexuan approaching. Despite my attempts to hide, he had spotted me.

“What are you doing here?”

“I… just looking at umbrellas…” I certainly couldn’t admit I was hiding from him.

“Come, let’s get some chestnuts.”

“Chestnuts?” I was curious. Li Yexuan never let me eat chestnuts before—what was happening today?

Before I could figure it out, a packet of chestnuts appeared in my hands.

“I promised you last time.”

I remembered then—when I fell off the cliff, I’d insisted on chestnuts, and he hadn’t forgotten.

The warm, fragrant chestnuts soothed me. We found a spot to eat together, and my frozen heart began to thaw, though I didn’t realize it yet…