Chapter 29: A Beautiful Man, Even More of a Calamity

Yun Heng always liked to call me Little Mufan. At fifteen, I was indeed small, like a bean sprout that had yet to break through the earth, lacking the graceful femininity that seemed to flow from Qiao Ruoqing’s very bones. There is a distinct difference between a girl and a woman. Sometimes, seeing her full figure, I could not help but feel a sense of inferiority.

I often accompanied Yun Heng; in the mornings, I would follow him to see the old matron as well.

“Son greets Mother.”

“Heng’er, you’ve come. Sit.”

Yun Heng took his seat below hers, and I stood quietly to one side, supporting myself and not daring to doze off.

“I’ve heard the Emperor intends to grant Heng’er a marriage.”

My mind exploded in an instant. What? The Emperor wants to arrange a marriage for Yun Heng?

“The Emperor merely inquired whether his son had a family,” Yun Heng replied, still with the unshakable calm of a mountain, his demeanor as serene as drifting clouds. So it was from others that I first learned of this possible imperial grant of marriage—no wonder his face had been dark for several days, so much so that even I dared not approach him or say a word.

“If the Emperor truly wishes it, it would not be easy to refuse.”

“The Emperor is getting on in years and has little time to concern himself with my affairs.”

“There is no one by your side now. Why not take Ruoqing in?”

Thunder struck. It had taken all my hope to believe the marriage matter was not yet settled. Now the old matron had to add fuel to the fire, determined to push someone onto Yun Heng. My heart soured, tinged with helplessness.

I thought back: even when Father had such a beautiful consort as Mother, he still took other concubines, and thus tragedy befell us all. It is always said that beauty brings disaster, but sometimes it is the blue-robed gentlemen who are greater trouble, causing countless women to lower their pride and fight among themselves. Palace intrigues and household strife—are they not but the dramas of women vying for one man?

Suddenly, I longed to escape this time and space, to be free from such predicaments. But I could not.

My mind wandered in confusion, but my hands were clenched nervously around my sleeves as I waited for Yun Heng’s reply. If he said yes, I would resolve to withdraw all my feelings for him.

“I am occupied with official duties and have no intention of taking anyone. Cousin Ruoqing is a fine girl; Mother, please find her a good match elsewhere.”

Did I hear him right? Yun Heng actually turned down the illustrious beauty Qiao Ruoqing.

“So be it. A man’s ambition lies far from home, but do take care of your health,” the old matron said kindly, then turned to me. “Mufan.”

“Madam, your servant is here.” I quickly stepped forward and bowed.

“There are no concubines or attendants at Heng’er’s side. You must take extra care to look after him.”

“This is my duty, Madam. I will do my utmost.”

The old matron nodded in satisfaction.

“If you have nothing else, Mother, I’ll take my leave.”

“Go on, then.”

I followed Yun Heng out, a small, secret joy blossoming in my heart. He had not accepted another woman.

“General, why?” I ventured close, eager for an answer.

“Little maid, why are you so interested in your general?”

“I care for the general, that’s all.”

“I, the great general, am thirsty. Go make some tea.”

I returned to the room, took out tea leaves, and brewed them with the dewdrops I had gathered before dawn.

“Mufan, your skills are improving,” he remarked.

I lowered my head, shyly smiling and staring at my shoes.

But it was only my skills that grew, not my heart. Without a keen heart, one can overlook the thoughts that truly flash through another’s eyes.