24. The Celestial Realm’s Supreme God of War

Sun Wukong led the way, Zhu Bajie held the White Dragon Horse by the reins, and Xiong Wufan carried the burdens. The three of them left Yellow Wind Ridge, returned to the small path at the foot of the mountain, and continued west for half a mile, yet not a single household appeared along the way.

“How strange! Where have those guardian gods gone?” Sun Wukong stopped to survey the surroundings but could not spot even a solitary figure.

In the original Journey to the West, the Six Ding and Six Jia, who had been ordered to secretly protect Tang Sanzang, revealed themselves as old men to deliver medicine when Sun Wukong had his eyes injured by the Yellow Wind Demon. They also conjured up a manor for the pilgrims to stay in.

“Brother Monkey, what guardian gods are you talking about?” Zhu Bajie asked upon hearing this.

“Bajie, let me tell you a secret—don’t you dare breathe a word of it!” Sun Wukong sent Xiong Wufan off to water the horse by the river, then beckoned Bajie closer with a mysterious air and whispered in his ear, “The heavenly guardians—the Six Ding, Six Jia, the Five Direction Revealing Deities, and the Four Duty Officials—all follow Avalokitesvara’s orders to secretly protect our master.”

“Heh! So that old Buddha—” Zhu Bajie started to exclaim, but quickly realized his slip and lowered his voice. “Brother Monkey, if so many gods are guarding us in secret, how come Master still gets captured by monsters? How does that make sense?”

“Bajie, you know as well as I do—heaven and earth are no different, both love to put on a show for appearances’ sake. Everything is about deceiving those below and placating those above,” Sun Wukong said with a sigh for no apparent reason.

“Ah, who would disagree!” Zhu Bajie echoed his sigh, tossed aside his rake, and plopped down on the ground. Gazing up at the newborn night sky, he murmured, “Once I was Marshal Tianpeng, commanding a hundred thousand celestial troops along the Milky Way—how grand that was! Now, not only am I reborn as a pig, but I’ve also been reduced to acting as a caretaker and nursemaid.”

“Bajie, clearly you’re a pig with a story of your own!” Sun Wukong patted his shoulder. “When this pilgrimage is done, I’ll go to the Hall of Supreme Harmony and demand justice for you.”

“Heh, Brother Monkey! Don’t bother!” Zhu Bajie waved his hands frantically. “To be blunt, you can’t beat those big shots up there.”

“Big shots? Heh, I’ve made a career out of beating up big shots!” Sun Wukong’s eyes shone with confidence as he gazed into the deep night sky.

Zhu Bajie remained silent, letting the matter drop, and instead asked, “So what now, Brother Monkey?”

“We’ll rest for the night and challenge the demon again tomorrow.” Sun Wukong looked around. “As the saying goes, ‘Do it yourself and you’ll never go hungry.’ Since the guardian gods aren’t helping, we’ll just have to make our own lodging.”

“This place is all thorns and rocks—cold and hard—how are we supposed to sleep here?” Zhu Bajie wondered aloud.

“Bajie, haven’t you learned the art of transformation? Just turn this place into a manor!”

“Uh…” Zhu Bajie looked embarrassed, stammering, “To be honest, ever since I was reborn as a pig, I haven’t been as proficient with the thirty-six transformations of heavenly might. I doubt I could maintain a transformation of plants and trees like that.”

“I knew it—Pigsy’s all bluster and no brains.” Sun Wukong shook his head, summoned his Invincible Brick, tossed it to the ground, and snapped his fingers. “Transform!”

With a whoosh, a square, glowing green shield appeared, enveloping Sun Wukong and Zhu Bajie. In the pitch-black night, the emerald light cast a peculiar, otherworldly glow across their faces.

“Brother Monkey, I meant to ask you this afternoon—what kind of treasure is that green brick? It changes at will and keeps out the cold and enemies alike!” Zhu Bajie asked, feeling the green light wash over him.

“This treasure is called the Invincible Brick. It’s for smashing those ‘masters of empty talk’ and ‘professors of puffery.’ It’s a skill I mastered during my time beneath the Five Elements Mountain.”

“No wonder I never saw you use such a treasure five hundred years ago!” Zhu Bajie admired the glowing shield. “With a treasure like this, even Yang Erlang, the so-called greatest warrior of Heaven, might not be able to match you!”

“The greatest warrior of Heaven…” Sun Wukong mused. “I’ve fought that three-eyed fellow and know his skills are formidable, but all things considered, I wouldn’t say he’s truly number one in Heaven. Not to mention the Three Pure Ones and Four Sovereigns—just among his peers, Nezha is no worse than he is. So how did he get crowned number one?”

“Heh…” Zhu Bajie gave a bitter laugh and pointed skyward. “He’s got an uncle up there, doesn’t he?”

“Ah, of course!” Sun Wukong instantly understood, both amused and exasperated. “Heaven’s corruption is even worse than the mortal world.” When Xiong Wufan returned, they chatted a while longer before each lay down for the night, and nothing more happened until dawn.

The next morning, Sun Wukong woke early. Seeing the eastern sky already pale, he roused Zhu Bajie and Xiong Wufan. “To save our master, we must first learn where that demon came from. Let’s question the local mountain god!”

With that, Sun Wukong retrieved his Invincible Brick and pulled out his golden staff instead, striking the earth with a thunderous crash. The ground split open, and soon a burly, dignified mountain god named Dong Jicheng appeared. Upon seeing Sun Wukong, he bowed deeply. “Your humble servant pays respects to the Great Sage!”

Zhu Bajie snorted in displeasure. “You only have eyes for the Great Sage. What about me, the handsome Marshal?”

“Oh! Your humble servant greets Marshal Tianpeng as well!” Dong Jicheng gave Zhu Bajie a slight bow in acknowledgment.

“So a little mountain god dares put on airs with me?” Zhu Bajie was furious at the lack of respect and raised his hand to strike, but Sun Wukong stopped him. “Enough, Bajie. Let’s first ask about the Yellow Wind Demon.”

“Hmph! I’ll let it slide for Brother Monkey’s sake,” Bajie grumbled, lowering his hand and turning away.

“Thank you, Great Sage!” The mountain god bowed again and said, “You ask about the origins of the Yellow Wind King. I have heard some rumors, but I dare not speak plainly.”

“Why not?” Zhu Bajie pressed.

“Forgive me, I cannot say.” The mountain god sighed. “But I can tell you this: the wind the Yellow Wind King wields is called the Samadhi Divine Wind. It can darken heaven and earth, leaves ghosts and gods in distress, splits rocks and crumbles cliffs, kills mortals on contact, and blinds even immortals.”

“Then how should we counter it?” Sun Wukong asked.

“I’ve heard that in the West there is a secret remedy called the Three Flowers Nine Seeds Ointment. It can dispel wind harm and cure eye ailments.”

“And where might one buy this miraculous medicine?” Sun Wukong continued.

“It cannot be bought. It is a secret formula from the West, unattainable except by fate,” the mountain god replied with a sigh.

“Oh, so after all that, I still don’t know where the demon comes from, but you managed to sneak in an eye medicine advert?” Sun Wukong raised his golden staff in mock threat. “If that’s all, then you might as well die!”

“Spare me, Great Sage!” The mountain god Dong Jicheng fell to his knees, begging. “The Yellow Wind Demon was assigned here for supervision by Lingji Bodhisattva after breaking the rules. If you have no other recourse, Great Sage, you may want to seek out Lingji for assistance!”

“Tch, I thought you’d stand firm,” Zhu Bajie sneered. “So where is this Lingji Bodhisattva?”

The mountain god hesitated, but Sun Wukong pressed him, “What, do you really want to taste my staff?”

“No, no! Lingji Bodhisattva resides about three thousand li south of here, on Little Sumeru Mountain. There is a monastery there where he preaches.”

“You could’ve said so sooner, and spared yourself the scolding! Truly exasperating!” Sun Wukong grumbled. “Now get lost!”

“Yes, right away, Great Sage!” The mountain god shrank back, retreated a few paces, then transformed into a gust of wind and vanished underground.

“Brother Monkey, I think that mountain god is as sly as a fox—there must be some trickery afoot!” Zhu Bajie was still angry about being slighted.

“Enough, Bajie. The mountain god is just cautious, worried about getting into trouble. Don’t blame him,” said Sun Wukong. He turned to Xiong Wufan, “You, watch over our luggage and the horse. I’ll go seek out Little Sumeru Mountain and invite Lingji to subdue the demon!”

“Leave it to me, Great Sage! With old Xiong here, no one will steal our things!” Xiong Wufan gripped his black-tasseled spear, glancing warily at Zhu Bajie.

“Pah! When I joked about splitting up the luggage, did you really think I’d covet your rags?” Zhu Bajie scoffed. Seeing Sun Wukong already gone, he found a sunny spot to stretch out and ignored Xiong Wufan’s nervous vigilance.