Chapter 85: Doctor Xiao

But he couldn't let himself appear too concerned. Any sign of genuine emotion from him, and she would accuse him of overstepping. She was eager to use that as a reason to break away from him completely.

Bo Jinxiu forced a faint smile. "As long as he's fine, that's good. I'm not so heartless. Let him rest well; I'll have someone look after him."

Jiang Ciyou murmured her assent.

Bo Jinxiu walked over to her. "Shall we go to the supermarket together? I'll cook for you tonight."

Bo Jinxiu was an excellent cook, but he was always busy and rarely had time to step into the kitchen. Truthfully, Jiang Ciyou often craved his cooking. Still, she declined, "I need to visit the Yan family tonight. I can't have dinner with you today."

Jiang Ciyou moved closer to Bo Jinxiu, stood on tiptoe, and kissed his cheek. "I'm off now. I might be back late tonight."

With that, Jiang Ciyou left in her high heels.

She hurried to the Yan family residence, making her way straight to Yan Feng's room. She easily unlocked the safe with the code.

The safe was almost empty, containing only a single notebook—her diary.

Jiang Ciyou crouched and took the diary out, the very one she lost in the first semester of her sophomore year. It was still pristine, showing no signs of having been thumbed through often. Yan Feng had likely only read it once.

Holding the diary, Jiang Ciyou walked slowly to the sofa. The sight of it filled her with complicated emotions. Who would have thought that such a small diary could so completely alter the course of her life? Now, it felt like Pandora’s box.

She knew that opening it would reveal all the sins, lies, darkness, traps, and schemes in their entirety.

Perhaps it would change the fate of several people yet again.

Jiang Ciyou finally opened the diary.

The first few entries were her own—records of university stories and plans for the future.

At last, she reached the first entry written by Xia Ling, imitating her handwriting.

May 1, sunny.
Today I watched Afeng play basketball and saw the scar on his waist—so ugly, so frightening. I’ve always felt guilty about what happened back then, promised to take responsibility, but when I look inside myself, I find I dislike him more and more. It was his own carelessness, so why should I bear the guilt for my whole life?

May 7, overcast.
Yan Feng got into a fight today, ended up at the police station. Why is he still so childish? Since we were kids, I’ve always been cleaning up after him. I’m utterly tired of it, and in the end, I still have to comfort him. He’s forever like a child who never grows up. When will he mature, even a little?

May 23, overcast.
I truly can’t stand Yan Feng anymore. He’s as foolish as a chattering groundhog. We had the debate today, victory was in sight, but he let someone exploit a loophole. I wish I could crack open his head to see if it’s empty. He’s never been good at anything since elementary school, stupid beyond belief. He’s just lucky to have been born into a wealthy family. If he were ordinary, he’d achieve nothing, wouldn’t even get into college.

June 9, cloudy.
Yan Feng tried to kiss me today. I feel nothing for him. The scar on his waist disgusts me, a constant reminder of what I owe him. I hate that feeling so much. Sometimes I think, maybe only his death would make it disappear? Of course, I don’t really want him dead—just a passing thought.

July 7, rainy.
Today is the Qixi Festival. Yan Feng invited me to French cuisine, not knowing how much I hate it. He gave me a pair of sneakers—ridiculous, really, since sneakers are his thing, not mine. I never wear them. How do I break up with him gracefully? But I don’t want to give up being the Yan family’s young mistress. After all, the Yan family is one of the most prestigious in Rongcheng.

July 30, sunny.
Takahashi confessed to me, and I’m tempted. He’s so much better than Yan Feng, more masculine. Kissing him is wonderful—something Yan Feng could never give me. Of course, I can’t let Yan Feng know about this. But the thrill of juggling two relationships is real. It’s just dating, not marriage.

August 19, rainy.
I slept with Takahashi. It was incredible. Unfortunately, he knows I wasn’t a virgin; I lost it during that stormy summer after freshman year. Luckily, Yan Feng doesn’t know. After two years of dating him, he’s always so proper—at most, we held hands. I doubt he’s even capable. Maybe the burns to his waist and legs weren’t the only injuries. If I actually married him, would I have to spend my life with a cripple?

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Jiang Ciyou’s fingers trembled, distorting the diary’s edge. Xia Ling had filled the entire notebook, imitating her handwriting, chronicling everything from daily life to major events. Even Jiang Ciyou was shocked at how much Xia Ling seemed to know. It was as if Xia Ling had been present in every moment of her past, every detail. The mere thought sent chills down her spine.

No wonder Yan Feng had accused her of looking down on him, of secretly despising him, wishing him dead. This diary constructed a shadowed, twisted psychological world, hidden from the light.

Xia Ling had also perfectly calculated Yan Feng’s proud yet fragile self-esteem, making it impossible for him to confront her directly. One had to admit, Xia Ling was a master manipulator.

The past unravelled before Jiang Ciyou, layer by layer, revealing the naked truth. Some old mysteries were finally solved, but these were not the answers she sought.

As for that incident, it was rarely mentioned. Yet Jiang Ciyou could now be certain: Xia Ling was involved. That day had been one of those rare stormy days.

Jiang Ciyou left the Yan family without staying for dinner. She tossed the diary onto the passenger seat of her car and sped across the city’s elevated roads.

Her head throbbed, vision blurring. The panic and dread she had felt years ago surged back like a tidal wave. Her body shook uncontrollably, cold sweat soaking her thin blouse.

She knew her depression was flaring up again, this time with severe physical symptoms.

Jiang Ciyou had struggled with severe depression ever since the day she learned she had been violated. From that day forward, she endured nightly nightmares, unable to confide in anyone. Her sleep deteriorated, though her symptoms weren’t so serious back then—because she had met Dr. Xiao.