Chapter 46: I Have a Plan

All eyes were instantly focused on Zhao Yi.

Those gazes were filled with curiosity, suspicion, and disdain, but most of all, with the schadenfreude of people waiting to watch a good show.

In his heart, Zhao Yi cursed Wu Mingkong's ancestors down to the eighteenth generation.

Why are you all looking at me?

I am the Vice Minister of Works, not your damn Minister of Agriculture!

When a natural disaster like this strikes, even the immortals would have to drop to their knees—what the hell good is looking at me?!

Wu Mingkong paid no attention to the thoughts of the people below; she kept her eyes fixed solely on Zhao Yi.

Then, she turned to another elderly official with a head and beard as white as snow.

Grand Secretary of the Cabinet, Wei Zheng.

"Minister Wei, what are your thoughts?"

Wei Zheng stepped out of the ranks, trembling. He was even older than Li Buqing, the Minister of Rites, and his voice rattled with a whistling, trembling wheeze.

"Replying to Your Majesty... locust plagues have existed since ancient times. They are a matter of heavenly mandate."

"Locusts lay their eggs deep underground, several inches down, far beyond the reach of human effort. Once they become a plague, they blot out the sky and the sun, and wherever they pass, not a blade of grass survives."

He let out a long, heavy sigh, his aged face etched with utter powerlessness and despair.

"This old minister... is powerless. Other than opening the imperial granaries to distribute grain, there is no other way."

Wei Zheng's words fell like a basin of ice water, extinguishing the very last flicker of hope in the Imperial Study.

When even this veteran of three reigns and scholar of vast learning in the Cabinet said so, it seemed truly beyond saving.

"We second Minister Wei's proposal!"

"The wrath of heaven's disasters cannot be resisted by human might. We beg Your Majesty to make preparations for disaster relief promptly!"

A vast swath of the imperial court fell to their knees.

Wu Mingkong slumped back against the dragon throne, looking as though her very soul and spirit had been sucked out of her.

She was unwilling to accept this.

She truly, deeply refused to accept it!

Huddled in a corner, Zhao Yi desperately tried to minimize his presence.

He wished he could dig a hole in the floor and bury himself alive.

At a time like this, whoever stepped forward was a complete idiot.

Yet, Wu Mingkong's sharp, phoenix-like eyes precisely captured his subtle little attempt to slip away.

"Zhao Yi."

Her voice was not loud, but it caused Zhao Yi's entire body to stiffen.

It was over.

"Do you... have a solution?"

At this question, every single gaze in the hall once more snapped like a whip and nailed itself onto Zhao Yi.

Zhao Zhao, Zhao Yi's father, grew so anxious that he frantically shot signals at his son, urging him to quickly declare himself incompetent!

Zhao Yi opened his mouth, on the verge of saying, "This minister is incompetent."

Before he could, a sarcastic, mocking voice rang out first.

It was Li Buqing, the Minister of Rites.

He stepped forward, casting a look of utter contempt and ridicule toward Zhao Yi.

"Your Majesty, you think far too much of him!"

"A good-for-nothing who climbed to his position through frame-ups and false accusations, a scoundrel whose mind is filled with nothing but depravity—what sort of solution could he possibly have?"

"This locust plague is a punishment from the heavens! A warning from the divine! How could someone of his demonic and crooked ways possibly resolve it?"

The more Li Buqing spoke, the more carried away he became, spittle flying from his lips.

"If he can solve the locust plague, then this old man... this old man will lick the floor tiles of this imperial palace clean!"

Zhao Yi had originally been prepared to back down and play it safe, but upon hearing those words, his temper flared up instantly.

Fuck your mother.

I didn't provoke you, yet you still climb all over my head?

He took a step forward, glaring sideways at Li Buqing.

"Lord Li, do your words hold true?"

Stiffening his neck, Li Buqing roared, "A gentleman's word is final!"

"Good!" Zhao Yi clapped his hands together sharply, his voice crisp and ringing. "A team of four horses cannot catch back a spoken word!"

He turned to Wu Mingkong, bowing deeply.

"Your Majesty, you and all the lords present have heard what Lord Li just said."

"Lord Li and I shall make this locust plague our wager today!"

"If I resolve the locust plague, he won't even need to lick the floor tiles—that stuff is far too filthy."

A devilish smile bloomed across Zhao Yi's face.

"Instead, I ask that he eat the entire contents of the imperial palace's latrines!"

Boom!

The entire Imperial Study instantly erupted into chaos.

Everyone was left utterly shell-shocked by Zhao Yi's utterly vulgar and crude remarks.

Li Buqing's old face shifted from white to red, and then from red to purple, the finger he pointed at Zhao Yi trembling like a victim of Parkinson's disease.

"You... you... you shameless scoundrel!"

"It's a deal!"

Giving him no chance to retract his words, Zhao Yi nailed the agreement down instantly.

Then, he straightened his robes and bowed deeply once more toward Wu Mingkong on the dragon throne.

The previously nonchalant and cynical face now wore a look of unprecedented confidence and swagger.

"Your Majesty!"

"This minister has a stratagem that will cause every last locust in Henan Circuit to be utterly annihilated!"

The clamor in the hall came to an abrupt halt.

Everyone stared fixedly at Zhao Yi like a row of ducks caught by their necks.

A tiny spark of fire rekindled within Wu Mingkong's dim, phoenix-like eyes.

"Speak!"

Zhao Yi cleared his throat and looked toward the officials of the Ministry of War.

"Let me ask you, to what extent has the locust disaster in Henan Circuit progressed? Have they already turned into flying locusts, blotting out the sky?"

An official from the Ministry of War hurriedly stepped out of the ranks to reply, "Replying to Lord Zhao, it has not yet reached that stage. At present, the eggs have only hatched into nymphs, gathering upon the ground without yet growing wings."

"Good!"

Zhao Yi nodded.

"Then there is still time."

He held up three fingers.

"This minister has an upper and a lower strategy. Executed simultaneously, they may well delay the disaster, or even... turn the tide of heaven and earth!"

Facing everyone's skepticism, Zhao Yi remained completely unhurried.

He had anticipated this all along.

A mysterious smile appeared on his face, sending chills straight down everyone's spines.

"The first strategy is named: 'Eat them!'"

"What?"

"Eat? Eat what?"

"Your Majesty, honored lords. Once you remove the wings and legs of these locusts, fry them in oil, and sprinkle them with salt and spices, their flavor is exquisitely delicious, comparable to flying shrimp from the rivers!"

"Not only can these creatures be eaten, but they are also exceptionally nourishing!"

Zhao Yi spoke with vivid detail and unshakeable confidence.

"In this way, once the common people catch the locusts, they can take them home to cook and stave off their hunger!"

The entire Imperial Study fell into a dead silence.

Every single minister, including the Empress on the dragon throne, was completely petrified.

Their mouths hung open, their eyes bulged, and their minds buzzed relentlessly.

Eat... eat the locusts?

Is this damn thing... even possible?!

This wasn't a strategy anymore; it was the raving of a madman!