Chapter 21

I lingered outside my father’s study for several days, finally finding an excuse to ask him again for a copy of the dual cultivation manual. I lowered my head, feeling quite guilty—I wasn’t sure if he believed the excuse that I had lost the manual. He gave me a new copy and then called out to me as I tried to slip away.

“Xiwei,” he said, carefully choosing his tone, “how have you been feeling lately?”

I answered honestly, “Pretty good.” I had been eating well, drinking well, and sleeping well... though the sleeping wasn’t so good. At some point, I began having strange dreams—dreams so vivid and emotions so intense that I woke up grasping at fragments that always slipped away, leaving me with a vague sense of loss.

My father didn’t press further, and I felt embarrassed to tell him about the bizarre dreams. As I left his study, I ran into my senior apprentice brother. Seeing him brought back memories of that fanciful spring dream. He nodded at me as usual, his expression unreadable, and I blushed furiously before running off.

I only calmed down after reaching the Blue Lotus Pond, where I slapped my burning cheeks and splashed water on my face until it returned to normal.

This was utterly shameful. How could I have such dreams? Could it be because my father wanted me to find a cultivation partner? But no matter what, I would never entertain disrespectful thoughts about senior apprentice brother.

Though I had considered dual cultivation with him before, it was just a fleeting thought. Upon reflection, I realized I wouldn’t be able to accept it. Over the years, Brother Fuguang, Bai Wei, and Yuan Yuan had cared for me carefully. My senior apprentice brother always handled things methodically, keeping distance from everyone. Sometimes I felt he wasn’t as gentle as he seemed. He respected the elders, cared for juniors, managed all affairs flawlessly—he was a perfect senior apprentice brother in every way. Yet I had never seen him become too close to anyone or lose his composure.

I had always regarded him as a worthy elder to respect. How could I have such thoughts about someone who raised me?

My little white snake crawled to my hand, and I held it sadly, asking, “Who should I find for dual cultivation, then?”

The white snake looked at me with wise eyes, making me laugh. I took out some raw meat from my storage bag to feed it and whispered secrets before finally leaving the Blue Lotus Pond.

I planned to visit Zou Yan for another divination. After all, he was a sage of the Yin-Yang school. Though he seemed unreliable, his prophecies were often accurate.

To my surprise, upon entering his room, I saw a figure collapsed unconscious on the floor. I was startled and hurried to support him.

Zou Yan slowly woke up, his face as pale as a corpse. Flustered, I rummaged through my storage bag for pills to give him. He smiled and steadied himself on the table, saying, “Just a minor ailment, nothing serious...”

No sooner had he spoken than he clutched his chest and coughed up a mouthful of blood. His white robe was instantly stained red, and a few drops splattered on my face.

I was speechless.

Is that what you call a minor ailment? If untreated, he’d surely die!

I wanted to help him into a wheelchair, but no matter what, he was an adult man. So as I tried to support him, we both ended up collapsing on the floor.

Quick as lightning, Zou Yan shielded my head, preventing me from hitting the ground. I gritted my teeth, attempting to climb off him. But when I glanced back, I saw the blind man motionless again, seemingly unconscious.

It’s hard to tell if a blind person has fainted or not. I struggled to get up and looked at him helplessly. I didn’t know much about Zou Yan—just that he was a sage of the Yin-Yang school and a friend of my second brother. I had dismissed everything Si Gui said about him as nonsense.

“Mr. Zou...” I whispered, poking his face. Strangely, despite all the commotion, the white gauze on his face hadn’t fallen off. His lips were paler than the gauze itself.

Is this man going to die? Although I often joked that he looked like he was on the brink of death, I didn’t really want to see him die.

After some thought, I decided to fetch help. There must be someone among the many on the mountain who could save him. But as I moved, someone grabbed my wrist. The blind man had regained consciousness and whispered, “Don’t go.”

“Mr. Zou, I’m going to find a healer,” I tried to pull free, but couldn’t. He held my hand tightly, his voice faint and dreamlike:

“...Bring me the wooden box beside the flowerpot on the right. There’s medicine inside.”

He suddenly released me. Ignoring the pain in my wrist, I quickly retrieved the medicine as he had instructed.

After taking the medicine, his complexion improved somewhat. I carefully helped him into the wheelchair, succeeding this time. He bowed his head and apologized:

“Sorry for troubling you... Did I scare you?”

I shook my head. When I have attacks, I’m even scarier than him. Perhaps because we both looked frail, I was more forgiving—and even felt a kinship with him. I enjoyed spending time with him mainly because of our similar fates.

Zou Yan gave a weak smile, lips pale, “Ashamed to have dragged my ill body through the world all these years, yet achieved nothing.”

I said, “Mr. Zou, look at me—I’m living well in this world, aren’t I?”

He tilted his head slightly, his smile fading, unlike his usual expression. Though blind, he always seemed to smile, but never with his eyes. I felt a subtle sensation of being watched from all directions. Though his eyes were not on his face, he was observing me with another pair.

He softly asked, “...What do you think is worth clinging to in this world?”

I whispered back, “Because there are many things I love.”

This world in the book should not have had me in it, but after I was born, everyone around me tried their best to keep me here. I didn’t want to make them sad, and I truly wanted to accompany them and change their fate. I didn’t know how long I would live, nor how much these messy medicines would prolong my life. But precisely because of this, I cherished every moment with family and friends even more.

Looking at Zou Yan, he seemed so weak—ever since I first met him, I could sense a deathly aura not from his body, but from the depths of his soul—a coldness and irritation born of weariness.

He despised this world, yet he still lived in it. I loved this world, but I didn’t know if I could continue living in it.

“Mr. Zou, living is indeed hard,” I said softly, “but I really like it.”

The subtle sensation of being watched faded. Zou Yan sat with his head lowered, his expression dark and unreadable. Sunlight streamed through the window, falling on the gauze covering him. The gauze shimmered faintly with golden light. The momentary despair and apathy I saw earlier seemed merely my imagination. He smiled cheerfully and waved at me.

“Thank you today. Without you, I don’t know how long I’d have lain there.”

I sensed he didn’t want to see anyone else, so I waved back in agreement.

“I’ll go now. Take care, Mr. Zou. I’ll come see you tomorrow.”

On my way back, I met Baize. It was carrying an unknown object in its mouth, heading down the mountain. After looking for a while, my expression suddenly changed.

“Wait! Baize, when did you pick up a person again?!”

“It’s Xiwei,” the white beast said amiably, its tone casual. “He’s dying. I’m waiting for him to die. Once he’s dead, his things belong to me.”

I was speechless.

I hurried over, and Baize lazily dropped the person from its mouth. The man rolled several times on the ground before coming to rest at my feet. Dressed in black, his clothes were nearly soaked in blood.

I felt a headache coming on. Baize patted my head with its paw to comfort me.

“With such severe injuries, he’s probably beyond saving. We should dig a grave for him soon.”

I asked, “Baize, what do you see in this guy?”

The white beast licked its fur innocently and reluctantly told me the story.

He was found at the foot of the mountain, barely breathing, covered with all kinds of wounds inflicted by more than one assailant. Baize was curious and circled him a few times, patiently waiting for him to die. But after hours, the man was still stubbornly alive. So Baize brought him up the mountain.

I marveled at the man’s resilience, then dug out some pills from my storage bag. Luckily, this man met me—the top pharmacist of Jiuzhong Mountain. Otherwise, someone else might not have been able to save him.

In just one day, I had encountered two injured people. What kind of fate was this?

I struggled to help the bloodied man sit under a tree. Exhausted, I sat beside him and noticed a wooden tag fall from his chest. It seemed to bear a number. I heard Baize’s surprised voice:

“Yinshan Ten Beauties?”

“Do you know this person?” I asked.

Baize briefly explained the situation on Yinshan. I was surprised there was such an organization. So this man was an assassin?

Who was he trying to kill to get hurt so badly?

Baize didn’t like the people of Yinshan and urged me to throw the man down the mountain. But I felt it was wrong to abandon him. After much hesitation, I gave him one of the pills my father had given me.

I crouched in front of him, examining his face. He was surprisingly young, wearing a red forehead band. His hair was black with streaks of white, and even with his eyes closed, he maintained a vigilant posture. Baize was right—his life force was stubborn. Despite his grievous wounds, he clung tightly to the sword in his hand. Baize regretted missing out on that sword.

Carefully, I tried to open his lips to give him medicine. But as I looked down, our eyes met—large, round pupils staring at me in shock. He murmured,

“Lady Xi…”

I tilted my head in confusion, not catching his words clearly. Suddenly, the youth grasped my hand with all his strength. The pain made me try to pull away, but he struggled to speak, his words jumbled:

“Lady… don’t… don’t go see him!”

You will regret it.

You will lose your family, be forced to marry someone you don’t love, be trapped in a corner, become melancholic, and…

Become the most beautiful yet most decadent flower in the world.

Nie Xiaoqi shouted hoarsely,

“Don’t save him!”